Parenting reminder

It is safe to say I am not a helicopter parent. I have moments – I don’t like her playing out the front of our house simply because dickheads roar past on a tiny street and I worry about her being knocked over but I don’t hover and I don’t worry about her constantly. It has been assisted by the fact she isn’t a bugger when it comes to climbing on things or drawing on things she isn’t allowed to and she definitely isn’t a runner, meaning she doesn’t see every opportunity as a chance to escape for the hills. Molly is by no means cautious she can be a little dare devil (case in point – bike riding down the hill!) but she is cautious in that she doesn’t actively look for danger!

Therefore we can be a little bit lax around the house. None of my cupboards are child locked and even though I have the bad stuff (bleach etc) well out of harms way other stuff is readily accessible. I don’t have covers on electrical points, or the TV is fully secured because I have never had to worry about that stuff. She doesn’t touch the TV and apart from flicking the power points on and off has never bothered to put things in them. I also have all my things around because she doesn’t touch them or break them.

Even the swimming pool is interesting. Yes, we are cautious there and it is fully secured but right from the start we let her wander freely around it thinking to ourselves that the less chance of it being FORBIDDEN meant she wouldn’t be interested in jumping in it,  if the awful opportunity came to play in it without us there. She knows the rules so she has no interest in swimming without her jacket or without us. It works well.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday was cold and wet so Chippie decided to cross a few items off the things to do list. Little things like door stops for the powder room and bathroom and the latches on Molly’s cupboards. Molly, likes to think she is a builder like Daddy and Daddy likes to let her help (which I love) so she helped drill – yes she held the drill and assisted with the door stop in the powder room.

She thought she was awesome.

Then Chippie went into her room and she carried the drill.

Can you see where I am going with this. Drill’s don’t actually have a child lock. Because you know, who lets their kid play with an electric drill.

However, the other drill was on the kitchen bench (don’t even ask he has about 6 drills and nail guns, goodness about 5)

I was in the study and he was in her room with Molly. Molly left her bedroom.

The next thing I heard was a bump and then a huge wail.

I knew it wasn’t a fake cry and I bolted out of the study. Just above her eyebrow was an indention from the drill. She nearly took out her eye. She pulled it off the bench to “help” and tripped and fell. I can’t believe it. I felt ill all day thinking of all the what ifs. What if she fell and then pulled the trigger and she drilled her face, what if the drill piece drilled out her eye. What if. FUCK.

We quickly re established the boundaries that she could only use the drill with Daddy but she could play with her tools.

I think she was more scared than hurt and my heart was beating a million miles a minute.

It made me realise that I don’t need to be a helicopter parent but sometimes we do need to be a little bit smarter.

Gosh. Ugh, feeling ill again.

Anyway, she is ok. Just a little bruise to remind me, us that we have to be a little bit more vigilant. I thought I would pass this reminder on to other parents that are a wee bit more casual to remind you to think things through sometimes!

Molly turned 3

Last week my little demon child perfect specimen of beauty turned three!

It was fabulous.

I LOVE birthday’s, even secretly these last few birthday’s which have signaled an increasing age. I am officially a woman of age. My friends and I are in total denial about this and still believe we are in our early 30’s. Although, we are definitely planning some kick arse 40ths in the next few years!

I really wanted Molly to have the same unbridled enthusiasm for a birthday, where she eagerly counted down the days, or sleeps and enjoyed her special day of birth. I didn’t want her thinking that things were too much of an effort, or it was just another day because you know what, the day you were born is not just another day it is a ginormous cause for celebration. Especially a super special once in a life time IVF baby.

However, bearing in mind that she is pretty much going to be the only child I do want to have some boundaries. I am always conscious of raising a child who is aware of other people than just herself so I don’t want her to have a birthday party every year. I want her to appreciate the ones she does have and I don’t want her to ever take her life for granted. There is danger with only children to get too much, especially from two parents with a ridiculous abundance of love to give and one that has a ability to go overboard. Chippie of course, not me.

So with that in mind this year we decided to have a little bash at home for Molly and friends.

I am super fortunate to have within my circle of friends many children that are really close to Molly in age. I capped it at 5 and under so I had 6 children from my friendship circle that Molly has a lot to do with. Then I had four of her friends from kinder and her 5 cousins which totaled 15 kids! All I wanted was a brisk but sunny winters day. What we got was the start of an arctic vortex where the weather literally dropped 10 degrees in the space of an hour, complete with lashing rain and definitely no outside time. On the flip side, we have a large house so it was fully utilised for the party.

I moved all the furniture out, rolled up the rug to create a large open space and the kids went to town in Molly’s play room which still hasn’t fully recovered – I really have to do a big clean up and toy sort out in there!

The theme was Peppa Pig because Molly is obsessed. It was either Peppa or Frozen and we went with Peppa. Molly was absolutely into birthdays this year. She really got the idea of it all and she was very much a part of the party process, we did lots of things together. She helped make the food, we went shopping together and she chose her outfit. I bought Molly the cutest little party dress . I always like to get her a new dress for her birthday that she can wear throughout the year. She paired it with her purple gumboots. Man alive she looked gorgeous!

I even made the damn cake! I am so not a decorator but I was really proud of my efforts here :)

It was a 2pm party so we had sweets and some savories and there was just the right amount of food as there were literally no left overs. I did most of the cooking myself but had two days before hand in which I could prepare. My parents were away travelling up north and thankfully my mother in law was there and she helped me a lot. It was good having another set of hands that didn’t need to be asked! Especially because I was starting to get the flu (one might say Molly’s party was ground zero so apologies if I have passed this on to anyone, my bad).

Molly is currently obsessed with real life experiences . Supermarkets, mummy and daddy’s (and sisters but that is whole nuther post for a different day), cooking, doctors etc anything that mimics what I do, she loves to do so we got her a cheap stand up super market with trolley, weighing scales and register. We already had a trolley and register but this came with the set. She likes to do price checks. I also got her some cute jumpers, some new ballet flats, new paints and a frozen puzzle. All were hits and she loved them all.

Etsy came through with Peppa bunting, cup cake toppers and thank you cards. Reject shop had some great party bags and favours and Kmart had a good selection of party utensils.

Anyway to cut a long story short she had a brilliant time, the kids all played so well together and given we were inside they were really respectful of the space. We had a successful pass the parcel and a not so successful musical muddy puddles. Molly had a wonderful day with all of her favourite people and I was just chuffed to see how much she enjoyed herself.

Here are some pictures of the day! Enjoy :)

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winter

I am sick.

I have had the flu and now I am just battling a bad cold.

I am fed up and grumpy and COLD.

Fucking artic vortex. Where is the bloody el nino when you need it sending us out of season warm blasts of sunshine.

And don’t be all – you don’t get winter I will show you winter – because I will trade you up a 45 degree summer day with northerly winds complete with bushfire warnings, tiger snakes coming into your back yard searching for water and SHARKS in the water and tell you that, you guys don’t get a summer, I get a summer.

I want a holiday. I need something to look forward to. Please don’t kindly remind me that the summer holiday I have booked is to go to Japan snowboarding. Bloody hell what the f was I thinking.

I am sick of coughing and wetting my pants because it is such a deep down cough that I can’t hold onto my pelvic floor.

I mean, I have natural killer cells that have suppressed my ability to have a baby and now I give up on baby making they all but disappear on me and just leave me fucking old eggs. YOU BASTARDS. Come back and get rid of this cold.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

In other news, Molly turned 3. I always wanted a summer baby and instead I was blessed with a middle of the winter one. Awesome she may be, apart from nearly fracturing my cheek bone last night with a misplaced head bang, a summer one would have been just the ticket.

Other ways that people upstairs just like to mess with me.

But seriously, she’s three. That deserves a whole post in itself.

And I also took some photos of me in more clothes and realised that I have a problem. A black and white problem.

I will be back. Once I stop hacking up my chest and wetting my pants. I don’t care which one finishes first as long as one does soon.

ooooh I can see the sun. See, glass half full.

What Chon Wore: Stay at Home Mum edition

I am incredibly lucky to wear two permanent hats. Working mama and stay at home mama. Full confession: my stay at home mama job is harder. I find it exhausting and wearying and by the end of the day I am normally passed out on the couch. You have to be on 24/7 you can’t sneak off. Work is hard too, you report to a boss that doesn’t always appreciate you, you deal with interoffice bickering, you deal with deadlines and reports but that I thrive on and when I leave at the end of the day I can switch off. I can never switch off with my other job!

Anyway, my wardrobe differs greatly over the week. One week is work wear  – nor corporate but still a lot more structured and the second varies greatly on my mood in the morning.

My mama wear staples in winter – jeans, ballet flats, cardy / jumper and a scarf. The one outfit I didn’t show was Friday. That was trackies, hoodie and uggs. Bloody comfortable but incredibly daggy.

Ok here we go. Round 2 of a normal persons guide to fashion.

Coffee with friend and infertility survivor

Photo taken by Molly

Photo taken by Molly

I wore;

  • Black denim jeans that are about 8 years old from Just Jeans. They are a little uncool – they have the straight leg rather than a skinny so I folded them at the bottom and they looked a bit like a boyfriend jean and I thought I could get away with it.
  • Pink woolen jumper H&M last year.
  • Leopard print flats that you can’t see here. Wearing them below.

Girls day out – shopping & movie date with Molly to see Minions

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I wore;

  • Skinny jeans Rag & Bone. I bought these jeans on shopbop and I love them but they are a size too big. I am silly they didn’t have my size but they were seriously 60% the cost of buying them in Australia and I took a risk. They are constantly falling down and I need to wear a belt.
  • Metallic sweater Just Jeans damn you EOFY sales. Damn you.
  • Motorcycle look leather jacket custom made Bali
  • Ballet pumps Kmart. Confession. Molly took a picture with my phone and I had different shoes on and the toe was so scuffed that I was like I can’t post that! And I need new shoes. My work shoes are pretty much always cheapies because they do get a bit scuffed and worn out here on the vineyard

Molly wore

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Apparently I blinked and my daughter grew up.

Sunday Yum Cha with Chippie & Molly

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I wore;

  • Skinny jeans H&M. The best $15 I have ever spent on jeans. I literally wear these all the time. They fit properly too.
  • Leopard print flats Country Road. We all need animal print in our lives. I wear these so much the toe is scuffed which is why I am doing a weird random pose with my feet. I am covering the evidence. I should have bought 3 pairs of these as they no longer sell them.
  • Black jumper Myer again I yell damn you EOFY sales! They had two for one. It was basically free. I bought it in a size larger so it was more slouchy. Super comfy. I wore with a brightly coloured scarf that I don’t have on here

There you go another episode of normal people wearing normal clothes. I had a fantastic weekend. Molly has been really sick this week with an ear infection so I actually had a day and a half off work as well but this weekend was really nice. Fun times nice little outings and reasons to blow dry hair and put on make up.

What Chon Wore: Saturday Night out on the Town

Is this blog becoming a lifestyle blog? Am I transitioning? It seems weird to think about a blog post that doesn’t include infertility. I often think about houses, fashion, parenting, food, life. Living in the now. I had to write that last post to verbalise it and work through the emotions. I feel better for that now. SRB said to post about what I wear and I thought why the hell not. Not going to lie had a lot of fun writing this post!

I thought about doing a photo shoot – of me in the outfits I wore but I don’t know if I can do that. Why? It’s winter and I can’t be bothered dressing up for Molly to take a bad photo of me looking white and pasty and a little winter pudgy. Also, have you seen me pose? It’s truly tragic. When I was in utero and they were handing out the photogenic gene my mum must have declined. Occasionally, very occasionally I will pull out a great shot but 95% of the time I just look awkward. So, I am going to master the flat lay. It will be a work in progress. Don’t laugh. However, if someone catches me looking the bomb. Then heck yeah I will post it.

I am no fashionista. I do like clothes. I like buying clothes. I also feel really good when I have on an outfit that ticks all the boxes. The older I get the more I like quality clothes. I love instagram for real people outfits. I do enjoy some blogs that have aspirational fashion but I generally love the blogs / Instagram accounts of those that are just normal people that pick up great bargain finds at good stores mixed in with their own fashion sense. Then I shamelessly copy for me. I have some insanely stylish friends that share their sources! I hate that the Australian dollar is back to normal so I can’t pick up awesome bargains from the States or UK anymore. Totally devastated. For three years it was halcyon days for Aussie shoppers. The prices for things in Australia are too freaking expensive. It really sucks to be honest.

I have three simple rules that work for me.

1. The only sneaker that you wear with jeans is a converse or funky trainer. No runners with jeans. Ever.

2. When in doubt, dress in black. I am from Melbourne, black is our uniform.

3. Make sure you have the staples covered

– 1 pair of great jeans

– 1 go to jacket (blazer, trench, leather jacket, woolen fitted)

– 1 perfect dress that covers off all occasions

– 1 pair of ballet shoes / flats

– 1 great cardigan

– 1 good (no awesome) bra. The best you can find for your boobies. A bra can make or break an outfit. Especially if you have, well, bigger boobs (spoken from one in the know)

Now to the flat lays

I have been super lucky of late to have not one, but two nights out in the city. Say what!? I felt like a grown up. My amazing friends (collectively known as the WGC) got us a gift voucher for a night out where ever we wanted after the final IVF debacle. We (I) decided a night out with some good food and drinks was in order. We stayed at the Crown Metropole and went for dinner at the Spice Temple. Um. WOW!

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I wore;

  • Black lace cocktail dress Suzanne Grae on sale two years ago for $30 and spotted by MIL. This is one of my staples.
  • Laser cut peep toe, stiletto KMart. Spotted by an instagrammer. You could never wear these for big nights out but for occasions where there isn’t much walking. Great
  • Clutch handbag, Collette Kris Kringle gift. The gift that keeps on giving.

The second night out was a WGC dinner at No 8 by John Lawson. I totally loved this outfit and felt freaking awesome. Pants were slightly tight (I blame IVF, winter and over eating). Dinner with friends was great. Awesome food, lots of bubbles and I stayed at my brothers house in Richmond so quick trip home and then made the trek back to Rye in the morning – with no hangover, so even better.

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I wore;

  • Black slimline tuxedo pant with a satin trim Sportsgirl new season
  • Black sheer top Target  new season and fits me perfectly
  • Super high pumps Betts bridesmaid shoes as a gift last season love
  • Handbag Betts bridesmaid bag that I just had to have
  • Purse Mimco Sale still expensive but I had one of those shopping brain fades when I had to have all of the things
  • Necklace I purchased at a Breast Cancer high tea fundraiser from some random stall. Finally got to wear it made my outfit

I hope you don’t mind the fluffy posts. I quite enjoy the freedom of writing stuff that isn’t so heavy and because this is private yet not private it is still a great way for me to just let it all out.

When is the right time to say, I’m done?

I didn’t know I was ready to say stop until I finally said, no more I can’t do this to myself anymore.

The I can’t do this anymore was when I found out we collected two eggs on our last IVF. The tearing at my gut, the visceral pain I felt hearing “we only collected two” was right up there among the worst of my infertility failures. My no more was echoed by my husbands heartbreaking no more.

There have been many inward, soul seeking moments since March where I have wondered if I was too quick to say no more, if I could have consider another round, other alternatives. Why was I so ready to give up when everyone else around me that had failures refused to? Why was I giving up? I want another baby so desperately; for me, for Ryan and for Molly. Surely I could keep going.

Many people have cautiously asked us if we are done, the new common theme is to helpfully suggest donor eggs. I have a willing and able donor in my sister, she has told me that her eggs are my eggs.

The other day Molly asked me to make her a baby sister.

However I can’t make eggs. Not enough to warrant going through with further fertility treatments. I simply do not respond well to protocols anymore. I have been put on them all and I don’t respond.

I also can’t do assisted conception anymore. The hormonal rage and the stress  that came with each injection. In these last cycles I was taking three injections a day. The medication. The feeling of lethargy and forgetfulness. The weight gain. The financial loss. The EMOTIONS.

However all of this doesn’t even compare the pain of failing at egg collection, failing at egg transfers and most of all failing at the pregnancy test. Failure. All the time.

Our final IVF took me to 17 days past. Seventeen. Despite not taking a pregnancy test I thought to myself I must of had this. My body had never taken me this far without a hint of spotting.

Except it did and I wasn’t. I made it to 4pm before it was finally over.

This is why I don’t even want to contemplate donor eggs. For even with donor eggs there is no guarantee that it will work and I can’t take another failure. My emotional well being can’t, my husband can’t and I just don’t want to anymore.

It doesn’t mean that I will stop trying and maybe, just maybe I will be one of the success stories I keep reading about. However, in my heart of hearts I know that it is finished. Our line stops with Molly.

Infertility has been the most painful, heartbreaking, soul destroying thing that has ever happened to me. I have, for most parts lived a relatively charmed life. This was my cross to bear. It has made me a better person, although, I like to think there were other ways in life to teach me lessons in empathy.

When I read or hear other peoples stories, those that kept trying to the bitter end, a part of me constantly wonders if I gave up too easily. Then I read my stats, my numbers and the journey and I know I gave it everything I could.

The last three months have been difficult. There have been many, many bloggers who have gotten pregnant and had babies in this time. The great and worst thing about being a member of an infertility group such as this is the support and then the worst is the fact you hear many more pregnancy announcements and stories than if you had just stayed IRL rather than URL. However, the past seven years has been made infinitely easier because of those same relationships.

It’s ok to say no more. To accept that this is the end game. The end game is different for us all and very much depends on the situations and place you are in the TTC cycle.

I am finally getting back to my happy place that I was at 18 months ago before we started the IVF cycles again. It has been a slow process and I don’t think I will ever be the same.  I know that for me, the right time to say I am done was when we the doctor told us we only had two eggs, the nurse telling us only one had fertilised and finally when I received the call saying, I am sorry it is negative. That was the last time. For me, my life really begins again now.

Swimming Pool Landscaping

It has been almost twelve months since we moved into our new house.  I can’t believe how quickly that it has gone and that we are facing yet another winter. It has been a chilly start but this weekend just gone was glorious.  No wind was the kicker. When you live 400m from Bass Strait – trust me when you say no wind can make for a glorious day. When the wind gets gusty around where I live, it literally blows horizontally into my front door. It is insane. And very cold.

Sunday was the perfect day for tidying up the garden and spending some time getting some much needed vitamin D.  We have hardly been out there lately and you could see from the windows that the swimming pool area needed a good weeding and I needed to remove a dead tree that had fallen over in March and not recovered. Yes, that is how uninspired I had been lately to get out there! Next step, buy new tree to replace old tree :/

I love our swimming pool but I haven’t been blown away with the landscaping. Or, more specifically the back fence. Our fence was pine and we had a lighter colour mulch and between the two it just looked blah. I just felt that when I looked at pictures of great swimming pool areas ours was lacking a bit. The garden itself looked good but the finishes were off.  I had shown Chippie some basic ideas of what could look good but as you know some of these things – they cost money and we are trying really hard to save at the moment. The other day he came home and said he had lots of timber left over from a job and it was our timber and we could do the back screen on the fence in the area that is to become our swimming pool pergola location. Given it was a lovely weekend we decided to get outside and tidy up this section.

I am so happy! It looks fantastic and provides a great contrast. Timber, in my opinion just takes an area to another level. Combined with the painting of the back fence – this is only a quarter completed we still have to do the side fences this area looks so much better. The plants pop against the fence and the screen provides a much needed architectural element to the back yard.

We have taken the back yard from this 12 months ago

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To this 6 months ago

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To adding this element yesterday

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Now the whole area will have this colour fence and we are creating a fire pit and fire log storage area to keep them off the ground and ease my worries of a little snake congregating area!

Next weekend is looking horrendous again so might be a while before we get back out here but I am happy to look out of my windows and the improvement! Although our next big project is to finish the front steps off. I need this done by Miss Molly’s birthday in four weeks time!

More stories of my house

Taking pictures of our house is the best. Mainly because you can see what really needs to be done when it is captured in a picture and you almost see it with fresh eyes.  The other day the light was amazing in our house (mid morning) and I got the “good” camera out. Now, remember I am not a photographer and my photos are at best, pretty bad but here are some updated pictures with new soft furnishings I have added since I wrote this post.

Living Area I am in love with this rug. It is an Armadillo & Co rug  that I had to negotiate with my husband and then find the best price I could to get him across the line. It is more expensive than one I thought I would buy but it is amazing. It is a braided wool / viscose and so soft underfoot. It is called the sierra weave. The dogs love it. It totally ties in the space and makes it infinitely warmer. In the photos there still seems to be a lot of white space that maybe you can fill but I don’t want to clutter. I love this picture here because, seriously check out Sasha posing for the photo. All my babies lined up.

Hey, look at me. I am beautiful.

Hey, look at me. I am beautiful.

Yes. I am playing with mum's phone. Peppa. And silence.

Yes. I am playing with mum’s phone. Peppa. And silence.

The coffee table is still mainly bare. It kind of needs to be. However I am getting a tray to do a style for when “friends come over” ha ha.

Dining Area After I took those photos a few months ago I decided I wanted a mirror to hang over the console and then I found the perfect one in a shop in S.orrento. The painting I picked up for a steal on eBay and had it stretched and hung. My mum bought me the copper candelabra and I wanted hot pink candles. I thought they would draw off the colours in the painting. Mum, is unconvinced. At the moment I am debating keeping my red vase out. The thing is, it was a wedding present from my parents from R.ed H.ill glass blowers and I love it but right now it is jarring with my other decor items. Not sure. When I don’t have flowers on the console it looks a bit bare. Next on the agenda are new dining chairs. I want white ones to brighten up the space it is starting to look a bit dark. I have been pinning loads on my pinterest account. The ones I love are ridiculously expensive so I will be doing some sort of replica / cheaper version. Just need to save up! Unless of course I win the lottery.

Colour! I love Scandi but I love colour.

Colour! I love Scandi but I love colour.

Master Bedroom Still very much a work in progress! I need a long mirror which will go where the chair currently sits, maybe a small little table to go next to the chair. You can’t see it but I have family photos across one wall that were taken in February which I love. I am so happy with how they turned out. I am currently on the look out for end of financial year savings on a new quilt set. I need to keep it darker due to tradie husband but thinking a soft grey, perhaps the linen look? It is all a bit too dark in here. I also want to have a creeper, vine, wisteria or something along that fence to take away the harshness. When you look out the door to the back yard there are lovely trees and plants but directly out that window it is bare. We are currently paining the fences but I think it needs some greenery. It has to stay flush against the fence because it is a walkway and we need to be able to move freely through there which is why I thought a vine which would only be against the fence would work. IMG_2857Bookshelf

This has been fun decorating and is still definitely ongoing. I change it up with small bits and pieces and little bargain finds. This has helped a lot with clutter!

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the tale of my neat house

The other day I posted this photo on instagram;    My lovely friend a million baby steps said for the love of god, there is no clutter on that bench (ok she didn’t say for the love of god it just sounded better ;) ) Anyway, there seems to have been quite a number of posts I have read where bloggers have lamented their messy house and also among my own friends and family there have been comments about my house being neat and because I have absolutely nothing nice to say about making babies, nothing interesting to say about parenting and I am sick of talking about infertility I thought maybe I could restart my blogginess by addressing these questions.

As a disclaimer I think there are a few things that make it easier for me to keep a neat house

1. We have a large house with only three people that live here (and two dogs but their combined weight is less than 8kgs so it probably doesn’t count)

2. Our large house has lots of storage

3. I work three days a week which means I have two extra days that a working mum doesn’t have to keep the house clean and I think this is important in maintaining the balance because no one wants to spend their entire weekend cleaning. That said I actually don’t spend that much time cleaning.

Chon’s guide to having a bench clear of clutter (and other stories)

I don’t subscribe to the minimal way of life – I am far too much of a consumer for that but I do practice some of the principles just in my normal life. I don’t like clutter, I tend to clear things out when I purchase something new. I probably should sell the old stuff on eBay or gumtree or on any of the buy swap sites but I usually give it to the Salvo’s or my sister who promptly sells it and makes money on it. This means I don’t have an overabundance of things I don’t need. I do have a lot of things that I might only use once a year or for just in case but I have one junk drawer and I clean it regularly.

Kitchen bench: I had a funny discussion with a group of other bloggers a few months ago about keeping the bench clean. I HATE a messy bench. The hardest thing for me living in P.reston Street was the fact I had zero bench space. The microwave, fruit bowl, knives and dishrack all fought for space leaving a chopping board area free for me. Our bench – even at our old house – is always clear. A clear bench means when I start dinner I don’t have to start by putting away everyone’s crap because it is already away and on work nights when I get home late, I am tired from working all day, I have a stroppy toddler I can just start cooking and get the nights activities started. I keep it clean by having a designated spot for everything.

Appliances are not out on the bench. I do, to be fair now have a butlers pantry and this keeps some of the appliances out (kettle, toaster, coffee machine). If we didn’t have that the toaster would be put away. Then when I use it, it gets cleaned and goes back in it’s spot. I don’t look at it for 100 years willing it to go away by itself. If you are in a position to build your own kitchen – design it so that things like microwaves, long plates and big pans / cooking items have spots that they can fit and still can be accessed easily.

Following on from the kitchen I attempt to do my dishes every night (every now and then I am like I can’t be fkd doing this and flake on the couch) but waking up in the morning is much nicer. I am shocking at unpacking a dishwasher – it’s kind of weird but I take forever to unpack and tend to handwash. Silly, i don’t know why I don’t just do it but sometimes I can’t be bothered. I throw out old fruit n veg but I try to use everything in at least two weeks. I have fruit n veg delivered once a week and this has helped loads with wastage.

Office / study: when I leave work I always try to have a clean desk. Sometimes I rush out the door and it is messy which means I waste valuable time the next day sorting it out so I can start again. Therefore at home I always try to keep a clean desk space.  We use our office a lot as I do Chippie’s paperwork for the business, he uses it to read plans, draw plans, meet clients and do his own paperwork. I throw out / shred personal bills once they are paid. I don’t need to keep them. Insurance, loan docs, superannuation and tax information is filed. I file all of Chippies paperwork. I have a bookcase of folders that all match – seriously the aesthetics of it make life so much easier. We bought Chippie a plan file which hangs all of the A1 plans so that I don’t have them lying on the floor and I archive old client records. I have in trays for invoices to be processed, paid and filed and a try for banking / insurances / tax things that need to be dealt with quickly. Chippie and I have our own in trays where miscellaneous crap can go but I try to keep on top of that every few months and after 5 minutes it is cleared, tidy and ready to get messy again! I also have a filing system for his work emails.

Bedrooms: Really we have super minimal bedrooms with hardly any clutter. We have built in wardrobes so no dresser. I have bedside tables that are just tables. We don’t use condoms so clearly I don’t need to pull them out ;) I try really hard to put my clothes away after I have dried them and since Chippie bought me the worlds smallest clothes horse for winter it means I need to clear that pretty quickly and not use it as a secondary wardrobe. Every morning before I leave for work Molly and I make her bed and my bed – it’s a doona / duvet so you know I pull it over, straighten it and put the pillows up – if it takes any longer than 60s I would be surprised.

Bathroom: I absolutely hate it when towels are on the floor. I really do. So I just hang them up after I use them. Toothbrushes are in a drawer in a tray. i have nothing on my bench apart from a little collection on a concrete tray that looks super cute. it’s always pretty neat. same as master bathroom.   Living area: I think this is where I got lucky. Firstly, we have a play room so at the end of the day I throw any of Mollys crap in there or we have a corner in the dining area that has her most used stuff – art / craft supplies, dolls etc. Secondly, Molly is not a messy kid. You know some kids that literally leave a trail of destruction behind them wherever they walk – that’s not Molly. She’s also not really into stuff.  She doesn’t need much. If we had more kids I probably would have got the messy one in there but I don’t have to worry about Molly drawing on my couch, or shredding it with scissors or bringing out every toy she owns and leaving it there. That’s not to say there aren’t times when the house resembles a bomb site on my stay at home days because girlfriend needs fun but we just put it all away after she goes to bed.

I mean really the above is not rocket science but I just find if I do things as I go it means on my days off I might spend 1-1.5 hours a week cleaning (vacuum, dust, a real clean of bathrooms) and the rest of the time I just chill. And having neat spaces devoid of clutter takes stress off me. I stress in a messy environment and I can’t think straight. I am not a creative who thrives on mess. I see straight lines!

I think it also helps that Chippie is pretty neat – yeah he leaves his jocks n socks right next to the laundry basket every.single.time and he never makes the bed and hardly cleans the dishes but he is neat and he is externally very neat. I never ever have to ask him to mow the lawns, take out the rubbish, go to the tip he is all over that. His family have definitely rubbed off on me because they are OCD neat and I like it! My mum is also tidy (hampered by my messy dad!!) but i grew up in a house that was always tidy so it just rubs off. I think the biggest way for me to keep on top of it is to just do a little bit each night so it doesn’t collate and make an even bigger mess. That way Molly and I get to hang out and do fun things. I have also got her to help me as well she follows me with her toy vacuum or I get her to put dishes away or I ask her to wipe her table and they always have to pack away at kinder and I make her do the same at home (with mixed results!)

Sometimes I get a little offended when people are all I leave the mess so I can play with my kids or insinuate that I mustn’t play with Molly because my house is clean because I am fun. I just have a different approach to getting shit done that works for me and reduces my stress levels significantly. Now, if only I could apply the same determination to reigniting my workout / eating regime I would be an all round happier person!!

Thug life

I don’t have much to say in this space right now. Suffice to say I am feeling a bit lost with what to write in blog land. But I am sure at some point mindless drivel will return and you will all be regaled with my life stories. For those that care to read.

Instead. I leave you with this.

Does anyone else watch these video’s. Every time I lose my shit. I think it is the gangster music at the end. Or not. They are just funny. And I need funny in my life.